My Only Trip to Palm Springs - Ever - PART I

 

Chris earned a free stay at a hotel and, after a long debate (Seattle? Portland?) we chose to visit Palm Springs because the nearby Joshua Tree National Park was supposed to be beautiful and we'd never visited.

We flew into Ontario and drove to Riverside for a tour of the Mission Inn. What an interesting place! The founder created an eclecic art collection from his world travels and housed it in a beautiful building.

The tour was expensive and not enhanced by the loud women who were competing with the guide. Downtown Riverside really gets into the Christmas spirit. We visited a cute store called Mrs. Tigglewiggle's and a huge antiques market.

 

The weather was gorgeous as we drove to Palm Springs. We stayed at the Parker resort where the valets wear "flamingo" pink jackets and the front desk staff sport bright orange. Very Miami Beach. The whole place was a throwback to the '60s.

 

We paid an extra $30 "spa fee" although we didn't really take advantage of any of the amenities (bocce ball, tennis, 2 pools, and something they called life-sized chess which looked more like an extended four-square court.)

It looked really cool, though, and the valets handed us water as we set off for a hike in the desert. 

dragon fish sink in our room

Santa Barbara: Part II

After the game and my nap, we walked to the wharf to watch the sunset. People were fishing off the pier and way too many birds were waiting for the left-over guts.

We took a long walk in the dark downtown to an English pub called Mad Dogs because Chris wanted Fish and Chips. Music was streaming from bars and clubs on both sides of the street.

We went to see "Social Network" with a bunch of UCSB students. We were the oldest people in the audience. It was good but I didn't like it as much as some critics.

The next morning, Chris insisted on checking out the San Diego Court House - and taking a guided tour. I expected it to be really dull but I was very pleasantly surprised.

It is beautiful and the guide let us in on some secret jokes. For instance, the guard tower over the solitary confinement cells was a blind. No one could get in or out but it was designed to make the convicts think they were being watched.



Mural in Court House



Chris kept marvelling about how expensive it must be to maintain the grounds which are amazing with many different species of palms.



We had lunch at a Mexican restaurant on our way to the zoo. It is a small zoo but very nice. We always have to go to every zoo.

Most of the animals were pretty close so I could get some good photos.

News Flash: Psych is not filmed in Santa Barbara

Who goes all the way to Santa Barbara to see Van Morrison? Especially after seeing him in San Francisco a couple of days earlier. We do. Well, although I went with Chris to Santa Barbara, Robin went with him to the SF concert. So, really, Chris does.

We flew into Burbank on Saturday, October 9. It's such a cute airport, what with the steps in the back and what-not. Driving to Santa Barbara took a looong time. The traffic was solid so we got a good look at all the crops. Did our sore and tired butts stop us from going out for a long drive after we checked into the hotel? Of course not.

We drove to the adorable little Danish tourist trap of Solvang.

We only had a little time to look around before heading for dinner at the Hitching Post, featured in "Sideways." Many of the patrons had obviously been a-tasting o' the grape. The "lady" next to us was unbearably loud!

There was a cool place next to the Hitching Post with all kinds of metal sculptures, decorated with many jolly pumpkins.

Then THE MAIN EVENT: Van Morrison at the Santa Barbara Bowl. We parked in a neighborhood nearly a mile away but what a good move. The traffic near the Bowl was nasty. 

We climbed and climbed and climbed into the stratosphere to our seats. Van was a tiny shape in the distance. But the sound was good. Unfortunately, the audience near us was a lot more interested in gossiping with each other than listening to the music. Soooo annoying! But Chris was happy so what more could I want?

The next morning we drove to the UCSB campus and walked along the shore and

around the lagoon. The day was gorgeous! People were surfing and canoeing and running and surfboard rowing (a new one for me). 




Chris had fond memories of the Art Fair held every Sunday along the beach so we meandered over there.

It was all painting and not that interesting so we went to the Fish House for lunch and then went back to the hotel to watch the Giants beat Atlanta (and I konked out for a while).

Dr. Wu's New Digs

It's been a very long time since I blogged. I blame Chris. It might be unfair but since when has that mattered?
Dr. Wu's move to the Bay Area has been occupying us for the last two months. It's been stressful but now that he's settled in, I can start thinking about other stuff.



Tammy and Kerry

  He had wonderful caregivers in Kansas City who were devoted to him. Tammy and Kerry even recruited their brother and Tammy's husband to help care for him at night. They cut their charges to the bone and were super careful about expenses but still, 24-hour care for one person is just too expensive. When it was two of them, it was more reasonable.
So, we had to explore the alternatives. He would soon be eligible for Medicare which would pay for a nursing home. But we didn't want him to be "warehoused" at a facility in Kansas City where he might not get a lot of attention. We looked at nursing homes in the Bay Area but they were dismal and depressing. People in wheelchairs lined the halls and screams filled the air. If he had to go there, we'd try to keep him at our house as much as possible. That was a scary prospect for me since I didn't feel comfortable being his primary caregiver, for many reasons, most of which do not reflect well on me.
We visited an upscale assisted living facility at Rossmoor in Walnut Creek. It was very nice and most of the residents were retired professionals: doctors and lawyers. Unfortunately, it was too expensive and not eligible for MediCal. Fortunately, the manager referred us to CareQuest, a referral agency that recommended five board and care facilities.

The first place, in Lafayette, was about twice as expensive as the others but she referred us because the owner is Chinese. We liked it and the owner very much but went on to see the four others. They were all run owned by people who saw the opportunity to make some money and didn't really seem to have a real connection to the residents. They were all run by hired caregivers and they all smelled funny. (It might have been the Filipino food the staff was cooking.)


The Red Door

 When we went back for a second visit to Lafayette Care Home, the daughter of another resident was leaving. She had wonderful praise for the owner, Linda, and her staff. We were sold. The house is up a steep hill near the BART station. Several times, deer have run across the private road in front of us as we drove up.

The Gang hanging out, watching tennis

The house has a huge living room with vaulted ceilings and a monster TV. The deck has an incredible view of the east bay hills. Dr. Wu's room is bright and large with doors that lead out to the deck.The owners are avid gardeners and the yard is full of blooming plants.

Linda is from Chinese and cute as a button. She has lots of funny stories to tell about being a spoiled and beautiful girl in Shanghai and Taiwan. She reads to Dr. Wu in Chinese and was testing him with cards, as preparation for playing poker. Her husband, Ted, is Japanese from Hawaii and adorable. They really seem to love and care about the residents. Ted toddles around with a little old lady on his arem wherever he goes. One of their employees, LingLing, is from Taishan and has taken quite a shine to Dr. Wu. We call her his girlfriend and he laughs. She is a little bit of a bully and pushes him to exercise and talk to her in Taishanese. The other day, when I went to visit, another of the staff, Jun, was sitting by Dr. Wu and singing "You Are My Sunshine" with a heavy Chinese accent to him. She is apparently a very good cook who makes dumplings and jook for Dr. Wu. The only male staff member is Peter who has been on a long trip to China to see his family.

The view from the deck

They can accommodate six residents. There are currently three adorable little old ladies living there who are very sociable. They all sit around the living room and watch tennis or golf on TV.  Another resident is bed bound so we don't see much of her. We try to see Dr. Wu about five times a week. I think they feel that's excessive, like we don't trust them but I tell them it's because we like him.





Kansas CIty Again?

Waaaay back on August 21, Chris and I flew into Kansas City and met Mike at the airport. After a nice visit with Dr. Wu, we argued over where to eat at 8 p.m. on Saturday night. We usually have a food agenda but it is even more important when Mike is with us. Mike didn't feel hungry enough to go to Stroud's. He claimed he needed to "prepare" for the feast. We tried for Oklahoma Joe's but the line was out the door so we hopped on the freeway to Bryant's. Yeah, Bryant's for a "light" repast. Chris and Mike downed a pitcher of beer and some MEAT. I joined them for fries and turkey.

The next morning, Dr. Wu told us all about his dream: He was working in the hospital and saw a woman trying to buy cigarettes but the machine was empty. She begged him to go get her some cigarettes but he said he was working. She claimed that a cigarette would do her more good than all the medicine could. So, after his shift, he went out and bought her some. He wondered if he had done the right thing. It was a pretty lengthy speech - and complex.

We took him to Stroud's for lunch. He loved the chicken soup and tried the "mixup" of livers and gizzards. He didn't eat as much as we thought he would but he still ate me under the table. Sometimes I think we are exaggerating how good the fried chicken is. Then we bite into that crispy skin and remember why we are not vegetarians.

We went to Lin and David's for a fabulous dinner. How can one woman be such a great cook, so beautiful, and smart and a successful doctor? Sometimes life isn't fair. But then she has to live with David, who is certifiable, so it all works out.

Happy Birthday to Chris

Chris's birthday didn't start out too promising. He had fasted for a blood test and, although we got to the lab by 7:35, he had to wait for about 90 minutes. He was hungry, coffee-deprived and cranky. After a stop at Starbucks for the cure for what ailed him, we drove to San Francisco and arrived too late for the Early Bird parking.
I took my vintage lunch box full of jewelry to the Asian Art Museum's gift shop in the hopes that they might be interested in selling some on consignment. The floor manager sniffed her disapproval and told me I needed to make an appointment with the buyer (which I had tried to do via email with no response.)
Several people had recommended that I approach the museum thinking my jewelry would be a good fit but that lady's attitude completely deflated me. If I want to sell my jewelry (and I need to make money if I want to continue to make jewelry), I need to be a lot tougher and more persistent.

Chris and I walked in the freezing wind and mist to lunch at a Thai restaurant and to Hooker's on Hyde for treats afterwards. Hooker's Sweet Treats  is a tiny shop that specializes in sea salted dark chocolate covered caramels. The interior looks like a general store from the turn of the century with vintage photos displayed on an old armoire. We got one of everything that was on display in their tiny counter. The peanut butter cookie was pretty good, the sweet cheddar corn biscuit was OK and the praline cookie was a diabetic nightmare. Dodging homeless people asleep on the sidewalk and the hoodlums hanging out by the liquor stores of the Tenderloin reminded me why I like living in Pleasant Hill.

Back at Chris's office, I spent some time playing with old scanned images that I think might make interesting cards. Diet Coke battled with sudafed and lost sleep and I struggled to stay awake in the quiet office.

We stopped at Orson for a quick bite before a concert at Yoshi's.  It is a really interesting looking space, modern and clean industrial chic. We ate at the bar and marvelled at the innovative drinks menu.  The bartender explained that a mastic-fig concoction worked because the mastic's pine flavor allegedly played well with the sweet figs. We passed on that.

We shared an "explosive caesar salad" that included parmesan streusel laced with "pop rocks,"  lacy strips of crouton and encapsulated droplets of caesar dressing. We also shared a tasty pizza with grilled corn, corn puree, summer squash, leeks, and basil.

Then we zipped off to Yoshi's for a bargain concert by Willie Jone III, an amazing drummer. His hands moved so fast, I think he must be related to Superman. The quartet also featured Eric Reed, who played beautiful piano.

All in all, the day ended much more pleasantly than it began. I hope it was a nice day for Chris and it will be a good year.

Why Babies Matter: Defending Children's Librarians

I admit it. It wasn't just the crazy drunks, loud teens and urine in the elevator that sent me running from Hayward Library. It wasn't just furloughs and budget cuts and wild children left in the library all day without supervision either. Or the fact that I was spending more time on seeking grants and outside funding than I was providing service to patrons.

It was a disagreement over the fundamental question of what a library should be.

We are in desperate need of community. People live far away from their extended families. Both parents have to work longer hours farther away from home. People don't know their neighbors and it's not safe for kids to play outside unsupervised. Parenting classes and playgroups are being eliminated from community colleges and community centers. Recreational programs and cooperative preschools are being slashed because of the economy. People need a gathering place where they connect with others. New parents especially need this support. They are taking on the most important role humans can accept, raising the next generation. No one should do that in isolation.

Libraries have been filling this gap for years. Free story times and play groups and child-friendly spaces allow parents to get to know each other, share resources and create communities. But as budget cuts force libraries to reassess their programming, pressure mounts to eliminate these valuable services.

Babies Don't Need Stories

Research has repeatedly and emphatically shown the importance of reading aloud, singing and talking to even the youngest children. Children who are read to have an easier time learning to read and achieve greater success in school. Singing and fingerplays develop essential pre-literacy skills as well as enforcing the child-caregiver bond that is so vital to emotional growth and stability.
In times of economic hardship, services to young children and their caregivers are vital. Providing caring support to parents helps them prepare their babies to succeed in school and in life. Waiting until children are in 3rd or 4th grade to address their deficiencies is wrong. It may never be too late but earlier is unquestionably better than later.

Anyone can read a story, right?

Many libraries are using volunteers to replace trained staff at story time. Reading aloud is a skill. It can be taught but it requires a certain innate (possibly theatrical) talent to excel. Choosing appropriate books and reading in an appropriate style requires specialized knowledge. Librarians also learn how to incorporate dialogic reading and other literacy-developing techniques. A successful story time is much more than reading a book aloud.
Para-professionals and volunteers can be great story tellers. My friend Jill has run a very successful and exciting story time for years without a MLIS. But she has dedicated years to honing her skills. Although some wonderful volunteers (like retired teachers or librarians) have developed amazing abilities, asssuming that volunteers can provide the same quality story times demonstrates a lack of respect for the skills and knowledge of staff. Assuming that story time quality doesn't matter demonstrates a lack of respect for the community.

Consistency is vital to the creation of a community. We cannot expect the same dedication from a volunteer that we demand from paid staff. To form bonds over time, people need to know that the same people will be providing similar services at the same time in the same place with the same group. A certain level of predictability in fundamental to our comfort.
It means something when the first place a family goes with their second child is library story time. It means something when a child's first steps are across the library floor. It means something when a child buckled into a carseat is singing the songs she learned at story time. It means something when families greet each other at the library entrance. It means we have created a coommunity.

In Defense of Library School
Not every person with an MLIS is a genius. Not every library school provides a great education and no  library school is as rigorous as medical school or competitive as law school.

Research says that the most important thing in determining the quality of a caregiver (for young children) is the education of that caregiver. More important than the caregiver's relationship to and love for the child, the desire to seek knowledge demonstrates a desire to provide the service. In other words, a stranger who has made the effort to take classes provides better care than a grandmother or aunt who is forced by circumstances to accept the role. Not every librarian is lucky enough to receive TouchPoints training at the Brazelton Institute like I did. But every one who has a library degree cared enough to spend the time and money to get one.

On-the-job experience is wonderful and indispensible but rarely allows us to really think about what we're doing and why. Without at least some philosophical framework, we'll just be reacting to current circumstances without seeing the whole picture.

I love what I'm doing now. I enjoy making things and being surrounded by beautiful colors and shapes and trying new things. But I miss the experience of being part of a community with small children. I miss the parents who ask me for advice. I miss Jessica's hugs and babies who smile when they see me.
Will I ever go back to libraries full-time? I would have to be part of a team who believes that the library can be the heart and soul of a community, that understands the needs of that community and realizes that children are the most important members of a community, that comprehends the importance of nurturing those children starting from birth, that knows that the best way to help children is to provide support for their parents and cargivers with trained, professional staff. Is that too much to ask?